Have you ever cry yourself to sleep?

If yes, so do i. Well when you hear this you might be saying “oh come on you’re too much and so emo”. But hey seriously! It feels bad, really bad. I feel it when i can’t sleep, yeaah bad insomnia. It started when i turned off the lamp, i lied on my bad, staring at the roof, and i can’t turn off this eyes. Then i start thinking, what happened with my life, how come it happened, remembering the past and how beutiful it is, thinking about what the future might be, missing someone that evet not-in-my-life anymore, regreting something bad, accepting the truth, accepting the condition that you won’t it happens exactly, realize how bad is my life now, feeling so unappreciated and there it is. It falls down slowly but sure, i’m crying and i don’t know what the reason is. It’s just fall down. And it sucks, really sucks. just like Bella Swan said “it’s like there a huge hole has been punched through my chest”. That’s it, once again it sucks. And i have another way cry myself to sleep. Turn off the lamp, staring at the rooftop, and listeng to the “huhuhu” playlist or “saddest songs” playlist on my iPod and there it is, fall down again. I’m doing this like almost everyday, 3-4 days for week.

Then i’m thinking again, why am i doing this everynight?. Thinking then weeping before sleep. Just like what picture say in my bio, “i am too sensitive and i care too much” and yet “ i think too much too”. Also i feel lonely, when everyone sleep peacefully and have their nice dream, i’m still here with eyes wide open, feel lonely, staring at the rooftop, and thinking again and again about this ‘now-unhappy-life’. The most worst feeling that i feel is “accepting the truth that i won’t and feeling so unappreciated”.  And it’s sad and the point is, i just feel so alone. Everyone get so busy with their own bussiness and their own life and i got no one to share about ‘my bussiness and my life’. So yeah i admit it, i just feel alone . So that’s why everynight i just thinking, worrying, weeping before go to sleep. And i have to admit myself too, that i have to stand with my own foot. If ‘cry myself to sleep’ is the best way to let out my emotions i think that’s okay, eventhough i still feel alone but yeah whatever with the loneliness, everyone feel it too surely. So if you feel the same like i do, yeah it’s normal cause i feel it too. If people say “we’re too much and we’re so emo”. Yeah whatever! I’m a girl and still 17 (but next month i get my 18 and i don’t want it), it’s my rights. just so you know, that i’m strong and yeah whatever with busy people, they don’t care about me at all right? Hahaha *sad laugh*. So yeah i’m already done my ‘cry myself to sleep’ and it’s midnight alread but i still can’t sleep i’m actually waiting for someone hahaha you’re right dude! Someone who is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo busy!. Well i should sleep and if still can’t, maybe i will grab my iPod and doing ‘cry myself to sleep’ again yeah we’ll see. Goodnight!